Hello Happy Couple!

It's great to read that you're both enjoying using your We Vibe 2, with its many speeds and pulsating options - and it's also great that you're using  water-based lubricant so that the toy sits comfortably. That said, it does sound like this slippage is causing some challenges for you.

There are a few reasons that this may be occurring. One may be that the shaft of the penis is relatively narrow (or the shape of your vagina is comparatively wide), leaving room vaginally for the penis to slip up next to the We Vibe. Everyone's shape is unique, and often this means that people don't mesh like puzzle pieces. If this if the case, it may mean that there's no longer the pressure of the penis shaft against the underside of the We Vibe, so it won't be pressing as firmly against the g spot.

The other possibility is that the vaginal muscles are not as strong as they could be, and the We Vibe itself is slipping down to nestle against the penis.

To determine if it's to do with penis and/or vagina shape, try using a wider dildo for penetration whilst using the We Vibe. This can be experimented with solo to figure out what works for you, or your partner can still be involved in this by controlling the movement of the dildo. For the vaginal muscles - and this is recommended regardless - start using Smart Balls to strengthen your pelvic floor. This will give you better control over clenching and releasing your muscles, and a better ability to hold the vibrator in place.

Using a condom on the penis may also help, as this provides a smoother entry - it's possible that friction of the penis against the We Vibe is not helping things along!

Another great resource is the book Ride 'Em Cowgirl - this covers a variety of different positions you can use during lovemaking. Trying different positions is recommended with any couples toy, to ensure that you find the position that gives the most pleasure for both of you.

And, of course, be sure to check out the D.VICE Advice radio show - the 21/11 edition discusses how to use your We Vibe to provide maximum pleasure.

Best of luck!

Hi Brooke,

I'm pleased to be able to say that it's extremely unlikely you have Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome. Many women rub themselves in the way you describe in order to reach orgasm (it's known as frottage: sexual rubbing). The technical term is 'tribadism', where you rub your vulva against an object for sexual pleasure.  This is a great non-penetrative form of stimulation, and to class it as a syndrome or problem is incorrect.

The great thing about frottage is that you can do it with an object, such as a pillow, but you can also do it with a person! When you're doing it with a person (such as rubbing yourself against their leg, or genitals), it's known as tribbing. Again, this is very common, and a lot of women do this!

If you wish to expand your sexual pleasure horizons, you can train yourself to orgasm in different ways, and by rubbing against different objects.  There are, of course, vibrators. Get yourself an Elise, Tango or one of the Smart Vibes, and try including that in your pillow routine. Alternatively, get some lubricant (LubeXXX is excellent) and rub yourself against a partner.

Penetration is not the be-all and end-all of sexual pleasure. Stimulating your clitoris and vulva is a great way to orgasm, and find pleasure that was is fun - just don't feel limited by how you achieve orgasm, as it's great your orgasming in the first place!

Be sure to check out the D.VICE Advice radio show - especially the 08/05/10 show where Ema discusses your question in more detail!

I'm delighted that you are getting good use out of your Smartball Uno!

As with tampons, there should be no problems with peeing while your Smartballs are in. Some people remove them for their own comfort - either mental and/or physical - but it's not a requirement. You can hold the silicone string out of the way, as you would with a tampon string - alternatively, you can pee with the string in place, and wipe it down as you wipe yourself. When you remove your Smartball you should thoroughly clean it with soap and water, or, alternatively, sterilise it.

(To sterilise a silicone toy like Smartballs or our Dildos, you can either pop it on the top shelf of the dishwasher; boil for 5 minutes; or clean with a 10% bleach solution.)

As for bowel movements, unless your PC muscles are very strong it's difficult to keep your Smartball in place. You'd be better to remove the Smartball beforehand.

When it comes to removing your Smartballs, either Original, Uno, or Duo, it's best to hold both parts of the string between your fingers, rather than pulling the end of it. The string, being silicone, is stretchy and very strong - it's been thoroughly tested by the manufacturer, and you needn't worry about it breaking. Squat, bear down with your PC muscles as you're pulling on the string, and it will pop right out!

Hi Alice,

When you have strong pelvic floor muscles, one of the many advantages is that you can tense them during intercourse. This can assist in reaching your own orgasm, and additionally gives your partner a bit of an extra squeeze as well!

The best way to strengthen your pelvic floor is to use a product to tone those muscles. If you're just starting out to strengthen them, then the Smartball Uno is the way to go.  All you have to do is pop them inside and the Smartballs and your body will do the rest! Smartballs have weights inside them which move as you do - each time they move your pelvic floor muscles tense, which helps to make them stronger.

Once you've mastered the Uno, it's time to move on to double balls - either the Smartball Originals, or the Duo. You can still use that Uno though - keep it for when you're exercising, swimming, or generally being active.

Definitely get yourself some lubricant to assist in easy insertion.  If your genital area is generally sensitive, Yes Lube is organic and glycerin-free, so it's very kind to yourself and to your Smartballs.  Don't forget to put a little lube on the string of your Smartballs as well, to keep things comfortable.

Keeping your pelvic floor strong has the added benefits of keeping your entire genital area toned - you won't accidentally wet your knickers when you sneeze; they're recommended by midwives for use prior and post-pregnancy, and they're generally excellent for keeping your healthy and strong. Who could ask for more?

Dear Princess

The reason the Duo Smartballs are not as rigid as the Original Smartballs is that they are coated in a high quality silicone which is a more flexible material. The original Smartballs are coated in a material called elastomer which is slightly more rigid. The increased flexibility is designed to make the Duo Smartballs comfortable to wear given the extra weight. In terms of inserting them make sure you use a good amount of lubricant such as Probe. Apply lube onto the balls and use the insertion indentation (at the base of the lower ball) to push to balls into your vagina. Relax your miscles as you insert and apply pressure to the lower ball to push them both inside. It's fantastic you have used the Original Smartballs for 2 years so you'll have great pelvic floor tone. Perhaps it will take a while to get used to the Duo Smartballs and the difference when inserting them.

In regards to the string, it is also made from silicone and does have quite a lot of stretch. I suggest when removing the balls you actually contract your pelvic floor muscles to help push the balls out, at the same time as pulling on the string. This may take a bit of practice to isolate the muscles around the vaginal opening but once you have mastered it, removing the Duo Smartballs will be much easier. Have a go using this technique. We'd be interested to hear your feedback as to if this is helpful in removing the Duo Smartballs...

Enjoy your inner workout!

Dear Bumblebee

We do not recommend using SmartBalls during pregnancy, with pressure already on the bladder they may not be comfortable. We do recommend using them from 6 weeks after giving birth, provided everything is healed up nicely after birth. We recommend starting with the Uno Ball and then moving onto the double set. We have had plenty of feedback from new mothers that this is definately the way to go.

Be sure to use a hypo-allergenic lubricant such as Probe with your balls to ensure comfortable movement of the balls.

If you are palnning on having more children after this one, definately keep using the balls as the better shape your muscles are in before giving birth the more quickly you will recover.

Dear Caring Friend.

Great that your freind is about to embark on her sexual adventures of a life time. The vagina like any muscle, benefits from a work out, and orgasms and stimulation definately help. This is an issue that affects many women. She is probably a little tense which is not at all unusual and there are some great things that will help her.

Lubricant is a must and we recommend it for everyone except those who produce a lot of natural lube. For women Probe Silky Light is perfect and good fro guys to. Most women relax with clitoral stimulation and she might benefit most from a slim vibrator that can be used for clitoral and internal stimulation.If she can do some self discovery and work out what stimulation most arouses her then she will be able to communicate this with her partner

If she has a good budget, the Gigi would be the very best vibrator and she can use it alone and with her partner, if this is out of her price range then the Laya Spot is great, mainly for out side the body, and great for getting juiced up with clitoral stimulation allowing the vaginal muscles to relax or one of the Fun Factory mini vibrators. These all have a silicone surface which is softer than the plastic of the Misty and more comfortable with lubricant.

Purr Clitoral Arousal Gel is like a girl's best friend, she can apply this to the clitoris, a couple of minutes before making love or using a toy (as well as lubricant). It can take 4-5 times of using it for it really to work it's magic, again it gets the body aroused and penetration tends to be more comfortable.

If her partner is into oral sex, this is a great lead in for a girl, many women actually become fully aroused after the first orgasm and can be multi orgasmic, whist guys are more likely to have one orgasm per love making session. A great DVD the 'Expert Guide to Oral Sex- Cunnilingus- has excellent tips and tricks on how to give a woman a great oral orgasm. Again, after getting juiced up penetration is way more comfortable.

We wish your friend all the best and get back to us if you need any more ideas.

Dear Tasty

Thanks for your question. I recommend opting for the SmartBalls Uno...a single ball to start. Easier to use and when you have mastered this, go back to your duo balls. Many women find this a good way to build up strength to enable then to move on to the double SmartBalls, which is the ultimate goal. We definately recommend using lubricant with all the balls to ensure a comfortable experience.

Have a bit of a read of the SmartBalls Uno information and you will get a good idea of how to use both styles. The SmartBalls are well worth the effort for the fantastic results!

If they do not show on the website, it will be because we are temporarily out of stock and they should be arriving early July 09

Hello G, you are quite right, a traditional double ender is tricky to use and becomes a slippery snake once lubricant is applied, that is why we don't sell them. We do have a great system that easily joins 2 silicone dildos together and gives you a handy holder with which to thrust and direct the dildos. This clever device is called the Tryst. this allso means that you can use the 2 dildos separately for handheld or strap on play.
The other great option for double style dildo action, either with or without a harness are the Share/Feeldoe double dildos, which allow both partners to be connected during thrusting and penetration with the one dildo. These are most easily worn in a harness, and can in some positions be used without a harness, it's a good pelvic floor work out!

Hi Curious and thanks for your question. The Smartballs ar eperfectly safe to wear while you have your period as they wont absorb any body fluids. this will be fine if you are using sanitary pads. However during this time you may find that the vagina is rather sensitive and it is not as comfortable to wear them. If you use tampons you will not be able to wear the balls and the tampon comfortably. So you might find it an easier option to wait until after your period is finished.

Hi Rouge,
Thanks for your question. The best place to start experimenting with drawing blood would be via play piercing. This is done with special needles, placed under the skin, drawing blood when removed. Please note: Bloodplay is considered a high-risk activty. If you are thinkiing about playing this way with your partner, the best thing for you both to do first is to learn from an experienced player and get yourself educated.
You can make connections online fetlife.com is a great place to start, as it can be anonomyus, and you can start making connections in your local area.
A good reference giude for all things kinky is  Sensuous Magic by Patrick Califia. It covers a lot of ground and is fantastic for newcomers and experieced players alike and deals with safe paly.

Hello Sam

Purr Gel is fine to get in the mouth and yes you can use lubricant in combination with the Purr Gel. Many men also enjoy the sensation of Purr Gel on the penis and both men and women can use it on the nipples. Have fun!

Dear shoes

One of the great things about marriage and long term relationships is that you can take the time to learn, experiment and get to know each other over a period of time, rather than just have a fumble in the dark. And as they say, all good things do take time!

It's important that you both learn how to sexually communicate with each other. This could be as simple as saying mmmmmm........I really like that. Sometimes we find it hard to say when we don't like something, so why not try saying 'how about doing that right here (and show where) and maybe a little gentler/harder'. You need to be able to help your husband understand what you do like. Maybe you could demonstrate on his nipples what it is that really gets you going. The Kama Sutra Chunky is a great beginners guide which covers all sorts of things including a small section on kissing and licking nipples. If your nipples are looking for some extra sensory attention maybe some nipple clamps will do the trick.

Hi Vincenzo

It really depends on what your toy is made from and whether it is a vibrator or non vibrating dildo. Silicone and Glass dildos can be thoroughly cleaned, and we do recommend cleaning between partner use. A really easy option is to slip a condom onto the toy and change it for each partner. If you can not ensure that you can clean or cover the toy then we recommend using separate toys. check out the safe sex info to find out more

Hello K, thank you for your question. Orgasm through oral or handjob can be quite a process for a man when given by a partner. when a man masturbates, he will often apply quite strong sustained pressure and movement over a relatively long period of time, and of course as he can feel what is going on, he knows exactly how long and hard to achieve orgasm.

Many female partners perhaps don't appreciate the amount of force and time required and may not have the strength, energy or patience to bring a man to orgasm. We have a very helpful instructional DVD on Fellatio  that you may find useful.

Also you may like to try massaging around the anus or slipping a finger or buttplug in (with lubricant) if your partner is willing as prostate massage is extremely stimulating for a man and gives him a much stronger orgasm. Combined with oral stimulation this is pertty mindblowing for men. You can use either a finger or a specialy designed prostate massager, which he can also wear during intercourse.

For early orgasm during intercourse we recommend using a cock ring, which is stimulating for him and delays ejaculation, very effective and fun. Alternatively if he cums before intercourse (perhpas through oral play) and then builds back up, his next ejaculation will be slower.