D.VICE Advice live 10.30pm Saturday nights on KiwiFM with Angelina (KiwiFM) & Ema (D.VICE)
A stimulating half hour discussion about sex, tips, sex toys, giveaways and answers to your questions about sex techniques, sexuality, sex toys and sex realted problems.
You are viewing All Categories. To change categories, select from the list below:
Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 of "All Categories"
I Bought a clit clip for my girlfriend as a treat on a recomendation from one of your friendly sales staff in Auckland. Problem, maybe I'm dumb or I really don't know much about the female body but we cannot figure out how to fit it. Please do not advise to look at the picture on this site as it is very small and not very detailed or clear. Nor advise me to read the instructions again as we are not sure what is the labia???? I suggest in selling the product for those of us that do not know that you include a clear picture in the packet. In the meantime could you please advise in small words slowly (as I'm just a mere male) how the Clit Clip is fitted properly?? Or my girlfriend asks if it can be fitted by your staff for us crash test dummies please.
Cheers
Cheers
Advice grrl answered:Cheers
Cheers
Dear Crash test dummies
Gee and we thought ours was the simplified version .... but I will attempt to re-word it in the hope that you will understand it better.
Labium is latin for lip....soooo....the word labia is derived from the latin word labium. The inner labia (or labia minora) are two soft folds of skin within the labia majora (outer lips either side of the vulva) and to either side of the vaginal opening. The clitoris is anterior (situated before or at the front of) the vulva where the labia minora (inner lips) meet.
I would suggest you get a mirror for your girlfriend and both take a good old look 'down there' and check out the female anatomy, I think you will find it most interesting, and who knows what will develop from there.
Oh, and you could find her inner labia and clit and fit the clit clip yourself...good luck and have fun
Gee and we thought ours was the simplified version .... but I will attempt to re-word it in the hope that you will understand it better.
Labium is latin for lip....soooo....the word labia is derived from the latin word labium. The inner labia (or labia minora) are two soft folds of skin within the labia majora (outer lips either side of the vulva) and to either side of the vaginal opening. The clitoris is anterior (situated before or at the front of) the vulva where the labia minora (inner lips) meet.
I would suggest you get a mirror for your girlfriend and both take a good old look 'down there' and check out the female anatomy, I think you will find it most interesting, and who knows what will develop from there.
Oh, and you could find her inner labia and clit and fit the clit clip yourself...good luck and have fun
I am experiencing a low to no desire for sex with my partner whom I love dearly. I have been in a sexual relationshp previously which ended hurtful to say the least. I had a good sexual relationship with my ex partner, why don't I have one with my new patner? I did have a laparoscopy surgery done 2yrs ago and am on the "pill" since....could that be the cause, or is it psychological?
Advice grrl answered:Dear KD
Without knowing all the ins and outs of your circumstances, it's a wee bit hard to say whether you are experiencing a low level of libido due to psychological reasons.
But libido is just like life really, it has it's ups and downs. Many women go through periods of lowered libido and this can come about for many different reason like menopause, tiredness due to a busy lifestyle and quite often women are so busy caring for everyone else in their lives, they often forget to look after themselves and take some time out.
Maybe you and your partner should get away from it all alone together and have a nice romantic weekend away. Go out for a beautiful meal and spend time chatting over a glass of wine or two. After dinner walk hand in hand back to your love nest and ask your partner to give you an indulgent relaxing massage with some D.VICE Love Oil before any other actvities of a sexual nature so you can really relax and unwind. You may like to dress up in some nice Lingerie, check out the selection on our website. Dressing up can help make you feel sexy and your partner will love the way you have taken the time out to dress for him.
Make sure you have a good supply of lubricant for your romantic/naughty weekend, Probe is an excellent brand and if you are planning to have lots of sex play, always pays to have it on hand (and other places).
If you want to consider some ideas for activities on your weekend away together, we have some excellent 'under the pillow' sized books like Great Sex Tips and Great Sex Games, all packed with great ideas and pictures.
Without knowing all the ins and outs of your circumstances, it's a wee bit hard to say whether you are experiencing a low level of libido due to psychological reasons.
But libido is just like life really, it has it's ups and downs. Many women go through periods of lowered libido and this can come about for many different reason like menopause, tiredness due to a busy lifestyle and quite often women are so busy caring for everyone else in their lives, they often forget to look after themselves and take some time out.
Maybe you and your partner should get away from it all alone together and have a nice romantic weekend away. Go out for a beautiful meal and spend time chatting over a glass of wine or two. After dinner walk hand in hand back to your love nest and ask your partner to give you an indulgent relaxing massage with some D.VICE Love Oil before any other actvities of a sexual nature so you can really relax and unwind. You may like to dress up in some nice Lingerie, check out the selection on our website. Dressing up can help make you feel sexy and your partner will love the way you have taken the time out to dress for him.
Make sure you have a good supply of lubricant for your romantic/naughty weekend, Probe is an excellent brand and if you are planning to have lots of sex play, always pays to have it on hand (and other places).
If you want to consider some ideas for activities on your weekend away together, we have some excellent 'under the pillow' sized books like Great Sex Tips and Great Sex Games, all packed with great ideas and pictures.
i never have an orgasm tips please
Advice grrl answered:Dear bbb
Without knowing whether you are male or female makes it hard for me to be more precise with some kind of answer, so I would suggest you look under Orgasms under the D.VICE ADVICE section on the home page of our website for further tips and advice.
Without knowing whether you are male or female makes it hard for me to be more precise with some kind of answer, so I would suggest you look under Orgasms under the D.VICE ADVICE section on the home page of our website for further tips and advice.
I am looking to buy a vibrator but I am worried about the safety aspect? Is it possible to cause internal injuries?
Advice grrl answered:Dear LouLou
Congratulations for taking that step towards purchasing a toy.
As long as you take precautions such as using a good lubricant like Probe Silky Light with all sex toys, take care of your toys (check out the Caring for your Toys section under the Sex Info tab of our home page)there should be no real reason to suffer any internal injuries.
If you are considering a vibrator for anal use, I would definitely recommend you read the Anal Sex section also under the Sex Info tab first.
There is a wealth of information within our website that you can check out.
Once you feel informed enough, take a look at the Vibrator section of the website to make your selection.
Congratulations for taking that step towards purchasing a toy.
As long as you take precautions such as using a good lubricant like Probe Silky Light with all sex toys, take care of your toys (check out the Caring for your Toys section under the Sex Info tab of our home page)there should be no real reason to suffer any internal injuries.
If you are considering a vibrator for anal use, I would definitely recommend you read the Anal Sex section also under the Sex Info tab first.
There is a wealth of information within our website that you can check out.
Once you feel informed enough, take a look at the Vibrator section of the website to make your selection.
I dont know if my wife can or ever has had an orgasm we've tried toys for her clit and that by far is the most that I've seen her wound up and seems to be most efective, but she is so sensitive that it doesn't last long.
Advice grrl answered:Dear brw
My first thoughts would be, have you both spoken about this with each other? I'm wondering if your wife has had the opportunity to explore herself sexually and have you asked her to communicate this to you? Often women can have an orgasm through self pleasure but find it more challenging with their partner. Perhaps she has never masturbated and feels uncomfortable talking about her own pleausre. As a loving husband you can be supportive and undertsanding and enjoy the lovemaking you have. Whilst orgasm is often the desired goal the stress and pressure about not being able to achieve this can mean you start to not enjoy sex. I would focus on making lovemaking as fun and intimate as possible. Are you using a GOOD lubricant? Using a good lubricant allows for harder, faster, longer play and is much more enjoyable, comfortable and pleasurable. We have a fantastic range of lubricants and my recommendation would be Probe, which comes in two consistencies, Silky Light, which simulates human saliva and Thick Rich is for more substantial lubrication.
A lot of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, so it appears that you have taken steps to address this. Does the toy you have been using have variable speed or pulsing functions? Sometimes these types of functions can be useful for when you want to lower or increase the speed of the toy according to the natural rhythms of the body. We have a wonderful array of vibrating toys with these capabilities, the Multi function bullet kit,or the Multi function bullet,are two exciting options you could check out on our website. One other product worth a try would be Purr gel, which promotes responsiveness and increased personal lubrication, more sensation, an easier orgasm and happy sexual partners!
Hello,
My boyfriend and I fool around every now and then but I can't seem to have an orgasm. I can have one on my own but when he and I get going, I freak out and worry that I'm doing something wrong.I never have an orgasm. What can I do?
Advice grrl answered:My boyfriend and I fool around every now and then but I can't seem to have an orgasm. I can have one on my own but when he and I get going, I freak out and worry that I'm doing something wrong.I never have an orgasm. What can I do?
Dear A
This is quite a common occurrence for many women, so you're not alone.You say that you are able to reach orgasm by self stimulation, so my suggestion would be to play a little 'show and tell' with your boyfriend. Tell him how you go about reaching orgasm when on your own and then show him what it is you do to get there. Many men like visual stimulation so he is likely to really enjoy watching you. Then you could get your boyfriend to participate with you while you take his hand, tongue,penis or a toy and show him how you like it. Giving some verbal or physical signs that you are enjoying certain activities is a good way to communicate and let him know what you like.
The fact that you say you 'freak out' and 'worry' may also impact on your ability to orgasm with your boyfriend, so try to relax and let go a little. You could also try Purr gel which is a great product that may promote responsiveness, and result in longer, more powerful and intense orgasms. The gel can promote increased personal lubrication, more sensation, an easier orgasm and happy sexual partners! Also make sure you have a good lubricant on hand such as Probe which can make sexual activity smoother and more pleasurable.
This is quite a common occurrence for many women, so you're not alone.You say that you are able to reach orgasm by self stimulation, so my suggestion would be to play a little 'show and tell' with your boyfriend. Tell him how you go about reaching orgasm when on your own and then show him what it is you do to get there. Many men like visual stimulation so he is likely to really enjoy watching you. Then you could get your boyfriend to participate with you while you take his hand, tongue,penis or a toy and show him how you like it. Giving some verbal or physical signs that you are enjoying certain activities is a good way to communicate and let him know what you like.
The fact that you say you 'freak out' and 'worry' may also impact on your ability to orgasm with your boyfriend, so try to relax and let go a little. You could also try Purr gel which is a great product that may promote responsiveness, and result in longer, more powerful and intense orgasms. The gel can promote increased personal lubrication, more sensation, an easier orgasm and happy sexual partners! Also make sure you have a good lubricant on hand such as Probe which can make sexual activity smoother and more pleasurable.
Hi there
I am accepting the fact that I am gay or bisexual, yet to be determined...!! A woman at work questioned my sexuality and I suppose because she was the first person to actually ask me (I had wondered for many years if my curiosity of sleeping with another woman would pass or not), I guess I am now really thinking about who and what I am.
Last weekend I drove 250kms to spend the weekend with this woman. Given my experience, or lack of, I felt she was very kind and understanding, but next time I'd like to be much better!! We've exchanged dirty text messages about what we'd like to do to each other, so we are communicating this on some level!!
I guess I'm after any information you may have as to performing better in bed (oh by the way I haven't slept with a man so have absolutely no experience of men or women!!) and what precautions we should be taking. She has been very sexually active compared to me, but not so much in recent years.
Thanks for your help, your site is awesome!!
Advice grrl answered:I am accepting the fact that I am gay or bisexual, yet to be determined...!! A woman at work questioned my sexuality and I suppose because she was the first person to actually ask me (I had wondered for many years if my curiosity of sleeping with another woman would pass or not), I guess I am now really thinking about who and what I am.
Last weekend I drove 250kms to spend the weekend with this woman. Given my experience, or lack of, I felt she was very kind and understanding, but next time I'd like to be much better!! We've exchanged dirty text messages about what we'd like to do to each other, so we are communicating this on some level!!
I guess I'm after any information you may have as to performing better in bed (oh by the way I haven't slept with a man so have absolutely no experience of men or women!!) and what precautions we should be taking. She has been very sexually active compared to me, but not so much in recent years.
Thanks for your help, your site is awesome!!
Dear curious
Congratulations on the begining of your adventure into the discovery of sex and sexuality! Whats great is whilst society demands it we don't actually have to define our sexuality (unless we choose)and for many people its a lifelong journey that is fluid and changing.
And of course its lots of fun! I would definately reccomend reading The Whole Lesbian Sex Guide. Its well written and packed full of great information and pictures. You may like to make a sex toy purcahse before you venture out for your next adventure. Having Lube on hand is always a great idea and a D.VICE silicone dildo is fantastic for experimenting with penetration. The Babe or Toa are both very popular and not too intimidating size wise. A vibrating toy can be lots of fun too. The Slick bullet is small and discreet and gives delicious sensation -enjoy!
Congratulations on the begining of your adventure into the discovery of sex and sexuality! Whats great is whilst society demands it we don't actually have to define our sexuality (unless we choose)and for many people its a lifelong journey that is fluid and changing.
And of course its lots of fun! I would definately reccomend reading The Whole Lesbian Sex Guide. Its well written and packed full of great information and pictures. You may like to make a sex toy purcahse before you venture out for your next adventure. Having Lube on hand is always a great idea and a D.VICE silicone dildo is fantastic for experimenting with penetration. The Babe or Toa are both very popular and not too intimidating size wise. A vibrating toy can be lots of fun too. The Slick bullet is small and discreet and gives delicious sensation -enjoy!
I am a herosexaul man thats been married with my wife for 30 + years I have never strayed and very in love with her. I ordered a dildo sometime ago to use on her and maybe she would try on me. After a while she did but when I asked her to screw me again with it she would not. She has acuse me of turning gay. I don't think I am but can she be right...
Advice grrl answered:Dear concern
Men of all sexualitites can enjoy anal penetration and find it very pleasurable. A heterosexual man enjoying anal play is NOT an indictaion you are gay. This is a common misconception that is both uninformed and unhelpful. All men have what is termed the male G-spot which is stimulation of the prostate gland through the wall of the rectum. Many guys can actually orgasm just through this form of stimulation. Congratulations on being a het guy who is adventurous and open enough to explore all realms of pleasure.
It sounds as if your wife is feeling insecure and is scared of loosing you. She may have spoken to a friend or read something in the media whih has fueled her fear. I would just go slowly. Reassure her that you love her and are totally committed to her. Because of this you would like to explore this area of sexual intimacy and share it with HER. She may feel unsure of how to pleasure you so perhaps you could both read some information together. A fantastic book is The Ultimate guide to anal sex for men
Its for guys of all sexualities and treats anal play as the normal pleausrable sexual activity which it is and has some excellent info and tips. Another great book is The ultimate guide to stap on sex which may be an option further down the track. The challenge for you is to make sure you affirm your wife, encourage her to feel secure and view this change as a positive exploration that will untimatly enhance your relationship and bring you closer together...
Good luck!
Men of all sexualitites can enjoy anal penetration and find it very pleasurable. A heterosexual man enjoying anal play is NOT an indictaion you are gay. This is a common misconception that is both uninformed and unhelpful. All men have what is termed the male G-spot which is stimulation of the prostate gland through the wall of the rectum. Many guys can actually orgasm just through this form of stimulation. Congratulations on being a het guy who is adventurous and open enough to explore all realms of pleasure.
It sounds as if your wife is feeling insecure and is scared of loosing you. She may have spoken to a friend or read something in the media whih has fueled her fear. I would just go slowly. Reassure her that you love her and are totally committed to her. Because of this you would like to explore this area of sexual intimacy and share it with HER. She may feel unsure of how to pleasure you so perhaps you could both read some information together. A fantastic book is The Ultimate guide to anal sex for men
Its for guys of all sexualities and treats anal play as the normal pleausrable sexual activity which it is and has some excellent info and tips. Another great book is The ultimate guide to stap on sex which may be an option further down the track. The challenge for you is to make sure you affirm your wife, encourage her to feel secure and view this change as a positive exploration that will untimatly enhance your relationship and bring you closer together...
Good luck!
In section of Anal Play - why is it advisable not to douche on a regular basis?
This is mentioned in your advise under anal play, my query is due to my partner.. as he douches on a daily basis in the shower.
Advice grrl answered:This is mentioned in your advise under anal play, my query is due to my partner.. as he douches on a daily basis in the shower.
Dear Rosie
Whilst douching is an effective way to clean the rectum of any fecal matter prior to anal play it is not recommended on a daily basis. The reason for this is that there is a balance of healthy bacteria in the rectum/colon and douching can remove this from the bowel. Also often people douche with soap or douching solutions which can actually cause irritation as they often contain chemicals. If you eat a balanced diet and have regular bowel motions the rectum should self cleanse and there is no need to clean internally. However occasionally douching is fine.
When you douche it just cleanses the rectum but with an enema you actually are taking fluid into the large intestine. This is definitely not recommended unless during fasting or for medical purposes (or sometimes enemas are done as part of sexual play) However this is also not recommended on a regular basis.
Perhaps your partner feels unclean unless he douches every day? He may however be upsetting a natural internal balance in the colon and this could lead to problems later on such as irritation or bowel issues. I would suggest to him that he reduce his douching and perhaps just douche at times he wants to engage in anal play. Just inserting a finger (wearing a latex glove) a little way into the anus whilst showering should be adequate cleansing and can be done on a daily basis.A fantastic book you both may enjoy is The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for men which is full of information about anal health and anal play for men of all sexualities.
Whilst douching is an effective way to clean the rectum of any fecal matter prior to anal play it is not recommended on a daily basis. The reason for this is that there is a balance of healthy bacteria in the rectum/colon and douching can remove this from the bowel. Also often people douche with soap or douching solutions which can actually cause irritation as they often contain chemicals. If you eat a balanced diet and have regular bowel motions the rectum should self cleanse and there is no need to clean internally. However occasionally douching is fine.
When you douche it just cleanses the rectum but with an enema you actually are taking fluid into the large intestine. This is definitely not recommended unless during fasting or for medical purposes (or sometimes enemas are done as part of sexual play) However this is also not recommended on a regular basis.
Perhaps your partner feels unclean unless he douches every day? He may however be upsetting a natural internal balance in the colon and this could lead to problems later on such as irritation or bowel issues. I would suggest to him that he reduce his douching and perhaps just douche at times he wants to engage in anal play. Just inserting a finger (wearing a latex glove) a little way into the anus whilst showering should be adequate cleansing and can be done on a daily basis.A fantastic book you both may enjoy is The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for men which is full of information about anal health and anal play for men of all sexualities.
I would like to know if it is normal to not have a orgasm but I come close and I am so wet down there? I will almost have a orgasm and then it just goes away. My partner tells me to let go and just enjoy and he is a great lover, but I just can't seem to have a orgasm.
Advice grrl answered:Dear candy
It is quite common for a lot of women to enjoy the build up to orgasm but are unable to reach the point of climax. Obviously, you and your partner communicate about this, which is great! I guess what he is suggesting is, rather than focus on the end result, enjoy the ride.
You don't mention whether you have spent time exploring possibilities on your own, so that would be my first suggestion. Buy yourself a good lubricant such as Probe and a vibrator, make some time for yourself and go exploring. Condoms and Lubricants on our website and you both may like to check out the sex_info section for further insights.
Remember not to go straight from anal to vaginal penetration as this may cause vaginal infections.
And last but not least, have some fun in exploring other avenues of sexual activity, as they say 'variety is the spice of life'
It is quite common for a lot of women to enjoy the build up to orgasm but are unable to reach the point of climax. Obviously, you and your partner communicate about this, which is great! I guess what he is suggesting is, rather than focus on the end result, enjoy the ride.
You don't mention whether you have spent time exploring possibilities on your own, so that would be my first suggestion. Buy yourself a good lubricant such as Probe and a vibrator, make some time for yourself and go exploring. Condoms and Lubricants on our website and you both may like to check out the sex_info section for further insights.
Remember not to go straight from anal to vaginal penetration as this may cause vaginal infections.
And last but not least, have some fun in exploring other avenues of sexual activity, as they say 'variety is the spice of life'
My boyfriend is 7 years older than me, I'm 19, he's 26. We've been together for 2 years and even though I've had 1 other boyfriend before him I still feel so inexperienced knowing that hes slept with 10+ girls before me. I trust him but am still scared to do certain things sometimes in case it's really bad and he's had better before. Is there some technique or something I can learn to do that will knock his socks off and make me seem like I'm so experienced at it that I've done it 100 times before? Thanks for your help :)
Advice grrl answered:Dear Inexperienced
The thing with making love and having sex, is, that we are not born with the know how, we learn by our experiences in life.
I would suggest you talk to your man, ask him what he likes, get him to 'teach' you what turns him on the most. Take time to experiment together, playing, talking, laughing when things don't go quite right, that can be part of the fun.
Who is to say that the 10+ girls he has slept with before you were better than you? It's more about quality, not quantity.
If you want a good starting place, I would recommend you check out the Ann Hooper pocket size range of books, from the Great Sex Guide and the Kama Sutra (these are out of stock on our website at present but can be purchased by ringing 0800 SEX TOYS or our Ponsonby, Auckland based shop on 09 376 5599) to Great Sex Tips and the Great Sex Games as they cover a range of activities including sensual massage, prolonging the pleasure, sexual positions, etc, to spark your imagination!
The thing with making love and having sex, is, that we are not born with the know how, we learn by our experiences in life.
I would suggest you talk to your man, ask him what he likes, get him to 'teach' you what turns him on the most. Take time to experiment together, playing, talking, laughing when things don't go quite right, that can be part of the fun.
Who is to say that the 10+ girls he has slept with before you were better than you? It's more about quality, not quantity.
If you want a good starting place, I would recommend you check out the Ann Hooper pocket size range of books, from the Great Sex Guide and the Kama Sutra (these are out of stock on our website at present but can be purchased by ringing 0800 SEX TOYS or our Ponsonby, Auckland based shop on 09 376 5599) to Great Sex Tips and the Great Sex Games as they cover a range of activities including sensual massage, prolonging the pleasure, sexual positions, etc, to spark your imagination!
how old must one be to buy a vibrator? for example, at spencers?
Advice grrl answered:Dear nobody
If you wish to purchase toys via our website, it does have an R18 restriction on it. Otherwise you can visit one our D.Vice stores (locations can be found on our website)to make your purchase, they have an R16 restriction.
If you wish to purchase toys via our website, it does have an R18 restriction on it. Otherwise you can visit one our D.Vice stores (locations can be found on our website)to make your purchase, they have an R16 restriction.
My boyfriend sometimes has trouble getting an erection or doesn't last long enough for me to orgasm and can't really have sex more than once a day or every two days. I have multiple orgasms when playing by myself and have only ever orgasmed once with him in the two years we've been together! We've tried viagara and that works really well but is so expensive. We've also tried herbal viagra but it makes my boyfriend really sick and he ends up spewing for a couple of days, so not really worth taking it. Is there any thing else that we/he can use to help with the problem, something not too expensive or that won't make him sick? Thanks so much for your help! It's really appreciated.
Advice grrl answered:Dear Wanting more
Many couples experience a difference in libido, desire or capability to perform sexually, so you are not alone.
Firstly, to aid your boyfriend's ability to maintain an erection a cockring is a good place to start, there are no side effects as he has found with taking some oral remedies. A great couple toy that you could use together is the Naughty Bunny, one of our most popular vibrating cockrings. The cockring piece helps maintain an erection by keeping the blood inside the penis (helping to keep it erect longer) and the added bonus for you is the thick but soft and spongy vibrating head of the bunny. The vibration will help stimulate your clitoris during sexual intercourse.
Why don't you teach and show your boyfriend how you achieve multiple orgasms when you play alone. When he has mastered this, you could then have lots of fun with this prior to intercourse and saving the act of intercourse as the finale to your playtime.
Maybe you would both like to experiment with lots of different ways to have sexual fun together.
Keep the communication up as well and remember that you are on a sexual adventure together that is about fun and discovery... enjoy!
Many couples experience a difference in libido, desire or capability to perform sexually, so you are not alone.
Firstly, to aid your boyfriend's ability to maintain an erection a cockring is a good place to start, there are no side effects as he has found with taking some oral remedies. A great couple toy that you could use together is the Naughty Bunny, one of our most popular vibrating cockrings. The cockring piece helps maintain an erection by keeping the blood inside the penis (helping to keep it erect longer) and the added bonus for you is the thick but soft and spongy vibrating head of the bunny. The vibration will help stimulate your clitoris during sexual intercourse.
Why don't you teach and show your boyfriend how you achieve multiple orgasms when you play alone. When he has mastered this, you could then have lots of fun with this prior to intercourse and saving the act of intercourse as the finale to your playtime.
Maybe you would both like to experiment with lots of different ways to have sexual fun together.
Keep the communication up as well and remember that you are on a sexual adventure together that is about fun and discovery... enjoy!
I love performing oral sex on my girlfriend. She will not do the same back to me because she says that she is just not comfortable doing it. She has done it with a previous partner and says that he forced it on her and that is why she is scared to do it to me. I really want to do it but I just dont know what else to say or do to her?
Advice grrl answered:Dear JJ
You obviously have had some verbal communication about this with your partner, great! Showing your girlfriend patience,understanding, slow pacing and gentle words of encouragement may help here. Your girlfriend's previous partner obviously was totally focused on getting what he wanted without any thought or consideration for her. Gently encouraging her to share her past experiences with you may help her move on, depending on how traumatic it has been for her. If indeed it was that traumatic, counselling may be the best starting point for her.
Otherwise, if you both choose to work through this together without outside help,you could do some internet searches for genuine information on the subject or maybe take a look at the Ultimate Guide to Fellatio.
She may even be willing to start with just having your penis near her face, kissing or licking. You would have to let her do this in her own time and without any forceful prompting from you. I would definitely recommend that you don't put your hands on or near her head unless she wants you too. Just being able to have her lips near your penis can be a very erotic experience for you both. Or if she is not ready to do this you could suggest she practice on a Dildo on her own. Fellatio doesn't come naturally to some people, so practice and patience, patience, patience on your behalf will help.
Remember, all good things take time!
You obviously have had some verbal communication about this with your partner, great! Showing your girlfriend patience,understanding, slow pacing and gentle words of encouragement may help here. Your girlfriend's previous partner obviously was totally focused on getting what he wanted without any thought or consideration for her. Gently encouraging her to share her past experiences with you may help her move on, depending on how traumatic it has been for her. If indeed it was that traumatic, counselling may be the best starting point for her.
Otherwise, if you both choose to work through this together without outside help,you could do some internet searches for genuine information on the subject or maybe take a look at the Ultimate Guide to Fellatio.
She may even be willing to start with just having your penis near her face, kissing or licking. You would have to let her do this in her own time and without any forceful prompting from you. I would definitely recommend that you don't put your hands on or near her head unless she wants you too. Just being able to have her lips near your penis can be a very erotic experience for you both. Or if she is not ready to do this you could suggest she practice on a Dildo on her own. Fellatio doesn't come naturally to some people, so practice and patience, patience, patience on your behalf will help.
Remember, all good things take time!
Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 of "All Categories"
