Dear Startergal

Good on you for taking the plunge (so to speak).

Most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm and most types of vibrators can provide this by using them on the outside of the body.
You say you would like something 'realistic feeling' so my first recommendation would be the Pink Pearly, it has a cyberskin type sleeve which has quite a realistic feel and you can remove the sleeve which can be used on a penis, a dildo or another vibrator. When you take the sleeve off you have a harder plastic vibrator underneath. If you think you might like a vibrator with a penetrative shaft plus an attached tickler the Helpful Rabbit could be the one for you. Another thought is if you think you may prefer a slimmer model of vibrator, the Soldier would be a good choice.
Take a look at the reviews under these products to help you determine which one you think you might like.
And of course, we always recommend you use a good water based lubricant like Probe with all sex toys as using lubricant makes for a much more pleasurable experience.
Good luck!

Dear Mr Mac

Erectile problems can be caused by a number of different issues. If you have noticed a physical change it would be a good idea to get checked out as soon as you can by a doctor to rule out any possible problem.
Especially if this is a new problem for you.

If you establish there is no medical problem then you can try wearing a cock ring over a semi erect penis, once fully erect you will remain hard for the time you wear it and your orgasms may be stronger.

Healthy eating, regular exercise, a reduction in stress and low alcohol intake can all help with improving erectile function as well.

But please get checked out by a medical practitioner who knows what they are doing first.

Dear TreyTrey

It sounds like you have very strong pelvic floor muscles which are pushing your husband's penis when you have a strong orgasm.
This is not a bad thing as it means you are in good shape and that you have a good grip on your partner's penis when it is inside you. This will feel good to him.
There may not be much you can do about it except try to relax to make your orgasm last longer.
Once you have achieved orgasm he can always slip back inside as many women can orgasm many times.

Dear JB2

If you have a wee read through the Anal Sex section of our Sex Info tab you will see that we do not recommend that people use a douche too often. A high fibre diet, combined with inserting your finger into your anus while showering, can provide perfectly adequate cleanliness.
I guess anything you enjoy could become addictive, I would suggest you do some research on the internet to learn more about the subject.

Dear no O

Believe me you are not alone, most women need some form of clitoral stimulation to orgasm. You have actually already pinpointed the answer to your question.
You and your partner could look at using a vibrating cockring toy during penetrative sex. This type of toy works best in the woman on top position. The Naughty Bunny is one of our most popular vibrating cockrings. The bunny has a nice soft spongy head with a bullet vibrator inside it that you use to stimulate your clitoris. It is worn on the base of the man's penis or can be used on a dildo or suitable vibrator. The added bonus to this toy is that you can use the bullet on its own as well.
If you want to heighten the responses of your clitoris you could use Purr Gel, another very popular product.

Dear toyvirgin
Congrats on delving into the world of toys! They are definately a lot of fun...
D.VICE does stock the Fun Factory toys but at the moment they are out of stock. We are expecting a new shipment early March so check back in then. The Laya spot is a fantastic vibe and one that we stock. The other FF vibe that is extremly popular is the G Twist -it has a fabulous textured surface. Dildo wise the D.VICE range of NZ manufactured silicone dildos are high quality, bright colours and a huge selection of different shapes. There are also some excellent vibes in stock now... If you are located in Wellington, Palmerston North or Auckland you may like to check out one of the D.VICE shops. The staff are very friendly and helpful and then you can check out all the toys in the flesh. Have fun on your toy adventures

Dear Jo

The Anal muscles are like other muscles, the more you give them a workout the stronger they become, so as long as you take things slowly and use plenty of good water based lubricant like Probe, things should be fine. Anal sex is not usually something that can be done in a hurry, so allow plenty of time for anal play.
Have a good read of the Anal Play section of our website for more good information. Some people find the easiest initial position of sitting over the penis the most comfortable, this way you have direct control of the level of penetration you wish to have by lowering yourself onto his penis. If you encounter any pain, back off to a more comfortable point and stay there until you become accustomed to it. When anal intercourse becomes comfortable in one position you could experiment and attempt others. You may find your own favourites and express this to your husband. Keeping the communication going before, during and after anal sex is most important.
Double penetration is quite safe as long as the the basic rules are followed.

Dear bored

You say you have a small penis, do you mean in its flacid state or erect? What have you measured this against? The average sized penis or the other boys in the school showers? You don't mention your age, so I'm going to suggest if you are still going through puberty you may still have some growing to do yet, so don't worry too much.
If you are older, are you overweight? Sometimes this can make the penis appear smaller. The3 average size penis is much smaller than most guys think- 4-5 inches when erect. Also do remember that penis size does not effect how virile you are. We find many of our female customers say that guys who have a smaller penis are usually better lovers. If you do soem resrach on other sexual techniques too you'll be a fantastic lover.
There are opposing views on the use of a penis pump to enlarge a penis. We do have the Kama Penis Pump, which may help. To have any real effect you need to use the pump on a regular basis, however you do need to take care that you do not over pump your penis. The pump creates a vaccuum around the penis, and if not used correctly can cause you damage. Some men use a pump for pleasurable purposes rather than to enlarge the penis.
Hopefully, that has been of some help to you, but the best suggestion I could make would be for you to try and be happy with what you have!

Dear Howard
I would definitely recommend silicone dildos as the most hypoallergenic. Check out the smooth sculpted dildos in the Tribe 7 range or the more Realistic-looking Boys. Waterbased lubricant is the least likely to cause an allergic reaction although the ph (acid/alkaline) balance of the vagina is much more sensitive. Probe is a fantastic lube and hypoallergenic. It comes in two consistencies, silky light and thick rich. This combination is the safest option and very unlikely to cause the sensation you describe.

Dear Kev52h
The Feeldoe dildo is available on our Australian website www.dvice.com.au.
This can be sent by mail to you in Perth. At this stage D.VICE does not have a shop in Perth...

Dear horny galore

There is so much you are not saying in your question!
You have not mentioned whether you and your wife have had deep meaningful conversation around this issue. Have you and your wife attended counselling of any kind? Do you know why your wife is disinterested in sex - is it a lack of libido, is she run down and tired? There are so many things that could affect her desire for sex. One of the most important things for a woman is that they often need to feel loved to want to have sex - There appears to be more questions than answers here. If you really feel that having sex outside of your marrige is the answer for both you and your wife i suggest you do an internet search and see what you come up with. Also Scandals magazine contains many listings.
Whilst this may give you some temporary relieve you may wnat to consider what you can do to enhance the relationship you are currently committed to...

Dear Bobert

I do not think it would be effective.
Generally people use a butt plug or a enema (which gently washes warm water up the anus).
The pump would not seal properly and therefore not provide stimulation.

Dear nawtboy

You say you are in a long term loving relationship and the sex is great, but your partner is not interested in and activity that you have always been into!
Have you both had a discussion around the issue of you going outside this relationship to fulfill your spanking desire? If not, I would suggest you do, because a good long term loving relationship should consist of honesty and openness.
If you have had this discussion, then you could contact your local BDSM group who will be able to help you. Most well run groups will be able to advise you on safe ways to play. All the local BDSM groups have websites so i reccomend you do an internet search and track down the Wgtn based group...

Dear Confused
What you are going through is not uncommon for women.
It can be easier to stimulate your own clitoris during masturbation or when playing with a sex toy than during love making with a partner.

If your lover is willing to try some different techniques then you can work at achieving orgasm during lovemaking. If he is not then your situation may stay the same. Good communication around sex is a girl's best friend. You might find, after talking with your lover (not when you are upset or angry)that you both learn some new things about each other.

For many women we need to have the clitoris stimulated in order to achieve orgasm and penetration from the penis rarely is able to do this.
You can stimulate your clitoris yourself or teach you lover to.
We recommend Purr Clitoral Arousal Gel, which you can put on a few minutes before sex to make orgasm easier, your could ask him to stimulate you with his tongue, or get him t watch while you touch yourself so he can see what works (this can be very arousing for a lover). Using a vibrator together can be informative for him and great fun for you both. there are also vibrating rings that he can wear to stimulate both of you at the same time.

Dear $crap daking

You do not mention if your girlfriend would like to have anal sex with you. It is important that you are both interested as it can take a bit of practice, and you need to go slowly.

A woman can not get pregnant from anal sex, however you should always wear a condom during anal play to prevent potentially harmful bacteria affecting your penis or her vagina. If you are then going to put your penis in her vagina you need to take the condom off and put a new one on.

Anal sex can be uncomfortable so you need to go slow,you need a lot of lubricant/lube and we recommend starting with fingers before using a larger object such as the penis.
check out the sex info section on anal sex on this website it has some helpful tips