Dear j

Diet could be the cause of your issue, as could over washing, but if you do have genuine concerns about whether you may have an infection of some kind, it doesn't hurt to mention it to your doctor on your next visit.
A well-balanced diet will help. We have a book on our website called The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus, which would be a helpful tool to read up on as it talks about food and other factors such as where you are in your monthly cycle and the soap you use that affects the taste of each and every one of us. What each of these things does is affect the pH balance and the tastes and odours are a way of telling us to rectify the situation. Eating lots of plain yoghurt helps with the smell and taste, or you could try taking acidophilus tablets (you can get these from a health store).

(P.S. Parsley is known to make you taste fresher, and pineapple to make you taste sweeter, so maybe you should include those items on your next shopping list and give them a try. And perhaps also a hypoallergenic soap with a low pH balance.)

Dear aussie gal

Although only recently married, you and your husband have been together for a considerable time. It's great that you appear to have had some communication around the issues you have mentioned, but I can't help thinking that more conversation would do wonders for you both. I would try to quietly encourage your husband to try out different forms of pleasuring for the both of you. Now that you are married, you have committed to each other for life, which means some give and take in the relationship.
You say you thought it was an issue for him about pregnancy, but have you both actually discussed the issue of having children at all. I think it would probably have been a good idea to talk about that before marriage, but it's never too late, so sit your man down and have a good talk about what you both want from your future together eg: children, home, sex life, etc etc. Being open and honest in your relationship will build a good foundation for everything else that will come along.

All the best.

Dear Sexyluv

The best way to learn about your own body's responses is to masturbate. I'm guessing by the terminology you have used, that you might be female, so I will assume so. Use a good lubricant like Probe Silky Light while masturbating with your hand on your own and later with a friend that you want to share this with.
You may even like to read an erotic story or watch a dvd during this time of self discovery. You may enjoy using a vibrating toy, a good starter would be something like the Pink Pearly, it is one of our most popular classic vibrators, it is waterproof, multi-speed and comes with a 'real feel' sleeve so you can experiment with both a hard and soft surfaced toy.
Some people like to perform what is called 'frottage' which is a rubbing form of masturbation, you might experiment with something like your pillow between your legs while reading or watching something you find erotic.
It's all about experimenting, being open to try different things to find what works for you, but remember to be in a place where you feel safe and wont have anyone walking in on you, unless of course this is your intention!
Later on, after finding out what it is that you enjoy, remember to share your findings with a lover that you trust and feel comfortable with, so that they too can learn how to satisfy your needs.

Dear gel

There is no known way to naturally or un-naturally enlarge the penis permanently!

Dear Kitten
Women will often ejaculate from stimulation of the G-spot. This is refering to the urethral sponge which surrounds the urethra and it swells when you are aroused. When women ejaculate it comes from little glands located on either side of the urethral opening and has a similar make up to semen (without the sperm). Whilst all women are physically able to ejaculate (unless you do not have the paraurethral glands) it just seems to happen for some women. For some women ejaculation occurs with orgasm and for others just randomly when the G-spot is stimulated. If we all focused a lot more on specific G-spot stimulation in our sex play many more women would ejaculate.
So yes i believe all women can learn how to ejaculate. I reccommend you have a listen to the D.VICE advice radio show on the Female G-spot and check out the Sex info section. Applying consistent firm pressure to the G-spot is going to give you the most stimulation and make ejaculation more likely. Using a hard surfaced toy with a curved tip and applying massaging pressure is the key. The Serpentine has been specifically designed by D.VICE for G-spot stimulation -it's fantastic! Also a glass dildo such as the Glass fun sensation is great for reaching the g-spot. If you find vibration stimulating for the G-spot the G-twist is a high quality silicone vibe with a great curve. Always use lubricant for G-spot stimulation - Probe is excellent.
Another practise that often allows women to ejaculate is fisting. This is where the whole hand is inserted into the vagina. This creates a deliciously full sensation and puts pressure on the G-spot. Fisting is a specialised technique and requires communication and a lot of care and awareness. Lube XXX is reccomended for fisting as a lot of lubricant is required. The sensation described by women who enjoy fisting is that of a continuous all body G-spot orgasm that is incredibly intense and long lasting.
The challenge in relation to female ejaculation is for us to change our perception of penetration. The shift is to be totally focused on the receptive persons pleasure -then anything is possible. All the best on your ejaculation journey!

Dear A
It is very unlikely that sperm would survive for 5 days on a dildo in a closed container. However to be sure and for safe sex reasons i reccomend you always wash a dildo before use. We do not reccomend sharing sex toys unless they are throroughly cleaned between uses to avoid transmission of STI's. Sperm can live for up to five days within the vagina after ejaculation. Another option to ensure a dildo is safe to share is to use a condom on it ti ensure you are safe.

Dear tom

If you would like your penis to look bigger, a good option is to try a leather cockring like the Bridle. When worn, this type of cockring enhances the appearance of the penis while it is erect. There is no way to permanently enlarge the penis, but you could try using a penis pump like the Kama Penis Pump. With regular use, a pump can increase the size of the penis.
Also, ensure you use a good lubricant like Probe with your pump.

Dear friendofafriend
Anal douching is a method used to cleanse the rectum of any fecal matter using warm water. Some people like to douche prior to anal play. We do have anal douching kits available $49.99 - the website is out of stock but we do have them in our Ponsonby Road shop. You can order over the phone on (09) 376 5599. If you have good anal health (basically you eat well & go to the loo regularly) the rectum cleanses naturally without needing to douche. Douching is often confused with an enema -douching just flushes out the rectum while withn an enema the water cleanses into large intesstine as well. The danger with douching too often is that whilst removing fecal matter you also remove healthy bacteria from the rectum. There is some fantastic information in The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Men and Anal Pleasure & Health. These are both excellent books with lots of helpful tips for anal play.

Dear quality over quantity
Thanks for the fantastic feedback!
It sounds as if your girlfriemd is experiencing female ejaculation. This is perfectly normal amd natural but can be quite embarassing for many women as its not often talked about or acknowledged. When women ejaculate a clear fluid squirts from small glands located on either side of the urethra...and it can be a lot of fluid. The make up is actually similar to semen without the sperm. This is often mistaken for urine. Thie usually happens when the G-spot is stimulted. The G -psot is refereing to the Urethreal sponge which is the tissue surrounding the urethra. Often this can be a shock for women if its never happened before. I would reccomend that your girlfriend makes sure she empties her bladder prior to sex... as sometijmes if you have a full bladder a little urine may leak out with the ejaculate.
Make sure you are really positive about this with your girl, but in a gentle way as she may feel quite sensitive about it. I would discretly purchase a waterproof matress protector and get some super fluffy luscious towels just for love making.
One option may be for her to use the Loveballs to strengthen and tone the pelvic floor muscles. These give an inner workout and would ensure that her muacles are in top shape...
A fantastic book is The Ultimate Guide to the G-spot which may have some helpful info. If its out of stock on the website, our Ponsonby shop in Auckland has a copy in stock.
This does indicate you two really click sexually and your girl is expereincing new sensations and pleasure. The trick now is to be really affirming so she feels like she is the hot babe she obviously is! Many women spend years trying to learn how to ejaculate so she can count herself lucky!

Dear DFF

We can often go through times in our lives when we don't feel particularly sexual, and yes, this is quite normal.
Are you busier than ever before, tired and run down? Do you have a new partner? Maybe the techniques are different?
There are so many things for you to explore about yourself and where your life is at this moment,compared to previously.
Are you using a good lubricant like Probe? Using lubricant means you can go harder, faster, longer.
I am going to assume that you are female (although men can have multiple orgasms too) so I could also suggest that you try the Purr Gel, it aids responsiveness in most women.
Ahh..yes, getting in the mood in the first place. It can be very hard to get in the mood if all you want to do is let your head hit the pillow and go to sleep. Sometimes we have to make that special uninterrupted time for ourselves, have a soak in a nice hot bath with a glass of wine under candle light. Have your partner give you a loving, non sexual massage prior to any other activities to help you relax. Make a date with your partner (yes, I know that doesn't sound very spontaneous) but sometimes we need to do this to ensure we do take the time out to have some fun....so, go forth and relax and have fun.

Dear flubber

In NZ it is illegal to have sex with anyone who is under 16years of age. And of course, we would always recommend that everyone should practice safe sex by using condoms, lubricant, dams, etc.
If you would like to learn more about safe sex, check out the Sex Info section of our website.

Dear ijustdon'tknow..

They say that variety is the spice of life, so good on you for wanting to add to your own sexual repetoire!
When you are used to coming in any particular way it can take a wee while to experiment and find other ways to turn yourself on.
Along with your perserverance I would suggest you try using some Purr Gel, it helps to promote responsiveness in most women and may assist you in tipping those scales. You could also use a good lubricant like Probe, because using a lubricant increases sensation and makes all sex more pleasurable.
Take the time to prepare yourself well by dressing up, reading an erotic story or watching a naugthy dvd, tease yourself a bit, holding back from temptation can work wonders. Just remember to have fun what ever the outcome!

Dear org concerned

Sometimes sexual activity, especially hard penetration, and let's admit it, at the point of climax in whatever form of penetration we are experiencing, things can get harder and faster, and this can put pressure on our bladder or rectum.
Make sure your bladder and bowel are empty prior to sexual activity and try different positions that will not put as much pressure on these areas.
As you have mentioned, it only happens sometimes, think about the position you have been in at these times, maybe that is the cause. We have a great book called Kama Sutra Chunky (which, by the way, is our most popular book) it has lots and lots of fun positions you could try. The pelvic floor muscles are in a figure 8 around your vagina and anus. When we orgasming these muscles contract. The tension in these muscles prior to climax could be the sensation you are experiencing. People who enjoy anal play with anal beads such as the Joy plug actually enhance this sensation by removing the beads at the point of orgasm. This encourages the muscles to contract more and enhances sensation.
I would ensure your rectum is empty before sex so your'e not concerned. Worry will add extra tension which will increase the muscle tension. You may want to try out the Love balls which are designed to tone and strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. Using the Loveballs encourages greater awareness of these muscles and also increases you ability to control them.
If after a period of time and experimentation if the problem persists, it would probably pay to visit your GP.

Dear sexybiatch

Congratulations on such a fantastic purchase!
All the various types of love balls work in the same kinda way. They are weighted and when inserted into the vagina (like a tampon) they comfortably give those all important pelvic floor muscles a great workout.
They are excellent if you want to strengthen the muscles after child birth, to instensify orgasms or give partners that extra squeeze, and just generally good for your general sexual well being.
For the best results you should use your Smartballs often and all day, also use a little water based lubricant, I would recommend Probe Silky Light or Sylk, it's safe to apply to the Smartballs and for vaginal use.
When you are wearing your Smartballs, your body movement allows the balls inside the casing to rotate, which helps to stimulate, massage and train those muscles.
There is no need to squeeze on them at all...the secret is just to wear them, the more your body moves around while you're wearing them the better the work out.....easier than going to the gym!

Dear jtiggywinkle

Some people experience irritation when using a purely silicone based lubricant and due to the thickness of these types of lubricants they can stain and are harder to clean off the body. This said, I suspect that silicone lubricants are harder for the vagina to naturally flush out. Silicone lubricants are not recommended for use with condoms and some sex toys.
You could try a silicone/water combined lubricant like Lubexxx, it is a great all round lubricant which has a light, natural and silky feel to it. Another option is Probe which is waterbased and comes in two consistencies, Silky Light and Thick Rich for more substantial lubrication.
When considering safe sex and sexual health issues, a water based lubricant is the best option.