Dear iwantit.

Unfortunately, the orgasm can be an elusive creature - but you are not alone! Advice about getting to orgasm is probably one most often asked questions on this site.

It's great that you've been trying Purr Gel - make sure you have been gently sliding back the clitoral hood and applying it to the underside of the clitoris. Becuse Purr Gel causes the blood vessels in the clitoris to dilate, it encourages you to become fully aroused. Many women experience an increase in personal lubrication and find it easier to reach orgasm because of it.

Additional lubriation is also an essential ingredient - some of our most popular lubricants are Probe or Lubexxx. They will help increase sensation for you and they will provide lots of good slippery fun.

Clit ticklers are great toys and marvellous for stimulating the clitoris. The ones you have been using may not have either enough strength in their vibrations, or the right combination of pulsation options. Try one with a variety of speeds and pulses, and experiment! The Nea Lelo is an excellent rechargeable option, or you might prefer a clitoral stimlator that is part of a larger toy, such as the Serenity Rabbit Silicone Vibrator (note the long rabbit ears on the stimulator, for double-sided clit stimulation!). The Lelo Ina is also an excellent choice, as the gentle circular motions between the shaft and the tickler feel great.

And last but not least, don't forget to check out the D.VICE Advice radio shows about Orgasm (25/10/09, 29/08/09, 15/08/09 all focus on female orgasm).

Everyone's orgasmic journey is different. It sounds like you get some intense sensations, so enjoy them - they are part of a great journey, which is more than about just reaching the end goal. Often with orgasm, the harder to try for it the more elusive it is. So relax, let go of expectation, and enjoy feeling pleasure with yourself ...

Good luck reaching your orgasmic pleasure!

I'm delighted that you are getting good use out of your Smartball Uno!

As with tampons, there should be no problems with peeing while your Smartballs are in. Some people remove them for their own comfort - either mental and/or physical - but it's not a requirement. You can hold the silicone string out of the way, as you would with a tampon string - alternatively, you can pee with the string in place, and wipe it down as you wipe yourself. When you remove your Smartball you should thoroughly clean it with soap and water, or, alternatively, sterilise it.

(To sterilise a silicone toy like Smartballs or our Dildos, you can either pop it on the top shelf of the dishwasher; boil for 5 minutes; or clean with a 10% bleach solution.)

As for bowel movements, unless your PC muscles are very strong it's difficult to keep your Smartball in place. You'd be better to remove the Smartball beforehand.

When it comes to removing your Smartballs, either Original, Uno, or Duo, it's best to hold both parts of the string between your fingers, rather than pulling the end of it. The string, being silicone, is stretchy and very strong - it's been thoroughly tested by the manufacturer, and you needn't worry about it breaking. Squat, bear down with your PC muscles as you're pulling on the string, and it will pop right out!

Hi Sean,

It's great to see your interest in a variety of anal pleasure toys! When it comes to anal beads we have the lovely Bendbeads by Fun Factory, which have five graduated balls, and a great handle to hold onto as well. It's made entirely out of silicone, so it's very hygienic, not to mention smooth.

To wear a buttplug for an extended period of time - more than an hour or so - you will want to make sure that the material it's made out of has some give. That means silicone rather than glass or hard plastic! If you're likely to be sitting, you'll also want one with a flaired base that sits comfortably between your cheeks, rather than poking out. To that end, the silicone Buttplugs that we make outselves: Pendant, Darling, Jewel, Gem and Pearl are the most likely to work for extended periods.

We did stock Aneros products when they first came out, but customer feedback told us that the Nexus range of toys was much preferred. When it comes to prostate stimulation, they have the advantage of not only massaging your prostate, aka the Male G-spot, but also vibrating if you wish them to! Check out the Excel, Neo, and the Titus for more information about how they can work for you (and don't forget to read the customer feedback at the bottom of each page).

If you want to find out more about giving your prostate a work-out, have a listen to our D.VICE Advice radio show from 13/09/08, which talks all about it!

Finally, don't forget to always use extensive lubrication when inserting your anal toys - we recommend LubeXXX in particular. Being a combination-silicone lubricant, it works brilliantly for anal use (as it doesn't dry out), but neither does it destroy your silicone toys. It's slick, slippery, and just adds to the fun.

Hi 50sexy,

When it comes to purchasing sex toys, knowing what material they're made of is definitely important. The genital area is sensitive, and if you use a toy made of low-quality material it can leach into the body. In particular, you want to avoid any toy that has phthalates in it. 

Our latest D.VICE Advice radio show talks about just this topic, so have a listen to our 13/03/10 show, discussing what sex toys are made of.

The highest quality materials for sex toys are those which are able to be sterilised: silicone and glass in particular. Other materials are also fine, as long as you don't share with other people. At D.VICE we want to make sex safe as well as fun, so we have a large range of toys that are made from great materials.

The lovely vibrators manufactured by Fun Factory and Lelo are also made of 100% silicone, not to mention gorgeous and great to use!  Additionally, all of the dildos (such as the Siren), buttplugs (such as the Pendant) and cockrings (such as the Tuatara) which we manufacture ourselves are made of 100% silicone, and come with a 10-year guarantee!

Glass toys are also great to use, both vaginally and anally. Check out the Glass Fun Sensation and the Glass Butt Plug Classic.

Finally, if you're ever unsure about the material a toy is made from, and want to be extra-safe, cover it in a condom and you won't go wrong!

Hi Alice,

When you have strong pelvic floor muscles, one of the many advantages is that you can tense them during intercourse. This can assist in reaching your own orgasm, and additionally gives your partner a bit of an extra squeeze as well!

The best way to strengthen your pelvic floor is to use a product to tone those muscles. If you're just starting out to strengthen them, then the Smartball Uno is the way to go.  All you have to do is pop them inside and the Smartballs and your body will do the rest! Smartballs have weights inside them which move as you do - each time they move your pelvic floor muscles tense, which helps to make them stronger.

Once you've mastered the Uno, it's time to move on to double balls - either the Smartball Originals, or the Duo. You can still use that Uno though - keep it for when you're exercising, swimming, or generally being active.

Definitely get yourself some lubricant to assist in easy insertion.  If your genital area is generally sensitive, Yes Lube is organic and glycerin-free, so it's very kind to yourself and to your Smartballs.  Don't forget to put a little lube on the string of your Smartballs as well, to keep things comfortable.

Keeping your pelvic floor strong has the added benefits of keeping your entire genital area toned - you won't accidentally wet your knickers when you sneeze; they're recommended by midwives for use prior and post-pregnancy, and they're generally excellent for keeping your healthy and strong. Who could ask for more?

Dear Princess

The reason the Duo Smartballs are not as rigid as the Original Smartballs is that they are coated in a high quality silicone which is a more flexible material. The original Smartballs are coated in a material called elastomer which is slightly more rigid. The increased flexibility is designed to make the Duo Smartballs comfortable to wear given the extra weight. In terms of inserting them make sure you use a good amount of lubricant such as Probe. Apply lube onto the balls and use the insertion indentation (at the base of the lower ball) to push to balls into your vagina. Relax your miscles as you insert and apply pressure to the lower ball to push them both inside. It's fantastic you have used the Original Smartballs for 2 years so you'll have great pelvic floor tone. Perhaps it will take a while to get used to the Duo Smartballs and the difference when inserting them.

In regards to the string, it is also made from silicone and does have quite a lot of stretch. I suggest when removing the balls you actually contract your pelvic floor muscles to help push the balls out, at the same time as pulling on the string. This may take a bit of practice to isolate the muscles around the vaginal opening but once you have mastered it, removing the Duo Smartballs will be much easier. Have a go using this technique. We'd be interested to hear your feedback as to if this is helpful in removing the Duo Smartballs...

Enjoy your inner workout!

Dear Michelle

Thanks so much for your question. The Smartballs are able to be used by women who have undergone hysterectomy once you are fully healed internally. You do not need to have a cervix or uterus in order to use the Smartballs. The Smartballs are designed to be inserted vaginally and sit comfortably on your PC muscle (pelvic fllor muscle. This muscle is attached to the pubic bone in the front and the cocyx bone at the base of the spine. The muscle sits like a platform and whilst it does hold up the base of the uterus it also supports the muscles of the vagina and anus. The PC muscle is also located in a figure 8 formation around both the vaginal and anal openings. Often after hysetrectomy women do experinece issues associated with weakening of the pelvic floor muscles. In order to keep this inner area toned and lifted and to prevent any incontinence regular use of Smartballs is definatley reccomended. I suggest you begin with the Smartball Uno whihc is the single ball. This is lihgter than the double balls of the Smartballs original and therefore easier to hold in. Once you can comfortably wear the Uno I would reccomend you move onto the Smartballs original to fully achieve optimum pelvic floor tone. Many women chose to keep using the Smartball Uno for wearing during exercise such as walking or yoga.

Ensure you use a waterbased lubricant such as Probe to allow for easy insertion of the Smartball Uno and wear on a daily basis for 6-8 weeks initially. Start off weraing the Uno around home for a couple of hours until you can comfortably wear it all day (6-8 hours). You will begin to notice a change in your muscle tone and can then wear the Smartballs a couple of days a week for maintenance.

If you find the Smartball Uno difficult to hold in do perservere. It's well worth the effort and a very importnat part of your healing process...

Enjoy your innner workout!

Dear Curios

The SmartBalls are an excellent choice for improving pelvic floor tone.
I recommend reading the SEX INFO article on SmartBalls as it covers all you need to know about SmartBalls styles and and the why and how of using them. I have popped in a quick reference from this page below.

1. SmartBalls Uno are suitable for women who have very compromised P.C. muscles, or who find the double set of SmartBalls to difficult to hold in, they are a good starting point for getting your muscles in shape.
2. SmartBalls Original are the ideal weight and many women will only use these over the years, if you started with the Uno Balls these are the next step in getting your P.C. muscles in peak shape.
3. SmartBalls Duo are for the woman who already has good pelvic floor tone and is up for the challenge of these heavier balls, we would recommend these for women who do regular pilates or Yoga or who have already got in shape with the SmartBalls Original.

As for a good vibrator to move on to, well it depends on your budget, I would recommend spening a little more and getting something skin firendly and long lasting.
 
If price is not object I would recommend the Gigi rechargeable vibrator. Fanstastic for clitoral, G-Spot and internal play, quiet, discreet, powerful and GORGEOUS.
If price is an issue, head for the Laya Spot for clitoral vibration or The Stubby for all round stimulation. Both of these are on special for October 09 so there is still time to get one.

Dear Bumblebee

We do not recommend using SmartBalls during pregnancy, with pressure already on the bladder they may not be comfortable. We do recommend using them from 6 weeks after giving birth, provided everything is healed up nicely after birth. We recommend starting with the Uno Ball and then moving onto the double set. We have had plenty of feedback from new mothers that this is definately the way to go.

Be sure to use a hypo-allergenic lubricant such as Probe with your balls to ensure comfortable movement of the balls.

If you are palnning on having more children after this one, definately keep using the balls as the better shape your muscles are in before giving birth the more quickly you will recover.

Dear R69, you have a lot of good questions. The anal passage for both women and men has many sensitive nerve endings that just love to be stimulated, once you get more practised you may like to discover the male G-Spot, that is massaging the prostate through the anal wall, and if you try any of the great prostate massagers (designed to wear both whilst making love and when playing alone) you can achieve mindblowing orgasms as the prostate and perineum are stimulated.

Many men of all sexual persuasions enjoy anal sex and anal sex will definately not make you gay. It can been a wonderfully intimate experience for your female partner to give as well as receive penetration.

I definately recommend using lubricant at all times for anal play as the membrane is quite delicate and not self lubricating, LubeXXX is the best. We ususally have Innuendo, an anal muscle relaxant if you find that you are having an issue with comfortable anal play. If it is not showing on the website you can email info@dvice.co.nz and we will let you know when it is back in stock.

A butt plug is a great place to start, something small and flexible and we recommend silicone as it is long lasting and easy to clean. Jewel or Bootie are great for beginners and when you are ready to move to more prostate stimulation check out the G Rider or in fact any of the Nexus range.

We are keenly awaiting the arrival of a new double dildo, the Share XS (smaller than the current Share and Share XL, and believe me you will want smaller than those two if you are a beginner. The Share XS is due mid-late September 2009 so take a look back after say the 19th or 20th and use the word search for Share XS. The Share is has a bulb held vaginally for the woman and a dildo for partner penetration. If the bulb is too challenging, your lady can wear a strap-on harness to hold it in place.

The Share might be something to invest in a little further down the track when you are confident you enjoy anal penetration and you and your partner have had some pleasurable experiences. Some excellent resources are the D.VICE Advice Radio Shows, you can download them as a podcast or just listen via your computer (for free). A great "How To" DVD is the Expert Guide to Anal Sex, which has real people having real sex and an instructor commentating and helping them have a great time (R18).

Hope this answers your questions. Have a great time exploring and definately on the right track if you want more and more sexual pleasure.

Hi First Timer, thanks for your email.

You have chosen a great time to get an interest in sex and sex toys. there are a great range of styles available. First think about where you enjoy the most stimulation. (guessing that you are female) clitoral or internal or both? And then think about your budget.

For clitoral stimulation I recommend the Laya Spot for a good all rounder try the Gigi, great for clitoral, internal and G-Spot and for a Rabbit style go for Serenity.

I totally recommend getting a good waterbased lubricant, always use this with your toy, and great for when you have sex with a partner, and if you want an extra juicing on the clitoris, definately try for Purr Clitoral Arousal Gel

Good luck with your adventures.

Hi there

Any of the D.VICE silicone with a round base tend to stick to the side of a shower or bath. We don't guarantee it but it most of the time they work!

Dear Caring Friend.

Great that your freind is about to embark on her sexual adventures of a life time. The vagina like any muscle, benefits from a work out, and orgasms and stimulation definately help. This is an issue that affects many women. She is probably a little tense which is not at all unusual and there are some great things that will help her.

Lubricant is a must and we recommend it for everyone except those who produce a lot of natural lube. For women Probe Silky Light is perfect and good fro guys to. Most women relax with clitoral stimulation and she might benefit most from a slim vibrator that can be used for clitoral and internal stimulation.If she can do some self discovery and work out what stimulation most arouses her then she will be able to communicate this with her partner

If she has a good budget, the Gigi would be the very best vibrator and she can use it alone and with her partner, if this is out of her price range then the Laya Spot is great, mainly for out side the body, and great for getting juiced up with clitoral stimulation allowing the vaginal muscles to relax or one of the Fun Factory mini vibrators. These all have a silicone surface which is softer than the plastic of the Misty and more comfortable with lubricant.

Purr Clitoral Arousal Gel is like a girl's best friend, she can apply this to the clitoris, a couple of minutes before making love or using a toy (as well as lubricant). It can take 4-5 times of using it for it really to work it's magic, again it gets the body aroused and penetration tends to be more comfortable.

If her partner is into oral sex, this is a great lead in for a girl, many women actually become fully aroused after the first orgasm and can be multi orgasmic, whist guys are more likely to have one orgasm per love making session. A great DVD the 'Expert Guide to Oral Sex- Cunnilingus- has excellent tips and tricks on how to give a woman a great oral orgasm. Again, after getting juiced up penetration is way more comfortable.

We wish your friend all the best and get back to us if you need any more ideas.

Hello Zo

Speed control remotes have been very difficult to source. Especially one's that actually work inside the body. We don't have any at the moment but are constantly looking for new products that are reliable and effective as well as stimulationg of course! Have you joined the mailing list? We send this out every month to 6 weeks and it features new toys, (sign up box features on every page) or you can check into the site regularly.

Dear 21 and not loving it!

Firstly, there is nothing wrong with you at all! You are still very young, so there is plenty of time to make all those sexy discoveries. I doubt whether 'everyone else' is having the great sex that they might be telling you they are either. Don't compare yourself to others, you need to find out exactly what turns you on and getting turned on by watching soft porn doesn' t mean anything other than, it's something that presses your buttons. You may be turned on by the visuals of soft porn and quite often women enjoy hearing their fellow women being pleasured in a movie. If penetrative sex is uncomfortable it could be due to you not being quite turned on enough and/or needing more lubrication. I recommend you use a good water based lubricant like Probe Silky Light for all penetrative sex and it's also great to use while masturbating. Which brings me to my next suggestion. Do you masturbate at all? Masturbation is a fantastic way to discover what and how you like to be touched. We have some great 'how to' DVD's which can help you expand your sexual repetoire. Expert Guide to Handjobs would be a great starting point for you. All these DVD's turn out some pretty hot techniques with everyday couples being the students.

Consider getting yourself a good quality vibrator like Laya Spot which will give you a variation in speeds and pulses to play around with till you discover which one/s you like best. Using it in conjunction with your lubricant while watching your DVD too would give you a good head start. When you are more confident with your new found sexuality, getting your boyfriend in the mix will be the icing on the cake.

Good luck and remember to have fun!